The Adventures of Lacrox

lacrox @ 2009-12-16T01:21:00

2009-12-15T14:21:24Z

I don't know how I'm feeling at the moment; I'm just feeling empty and unfufilled. I have Odo and I'm going to do everything I can to make that a success, but after that I don't know. I haven't got any hopes or dreams and my To-Do-Before-I-Die list has "Get a turtle" and "Eat Chinese food out of a takeaway box". I've almost died three times in my "adult" life and one of those times I had Lyndsey to get me through it, I fought so I could see her again, the next two I resigned myself to it all being over and I made it through. I often feel like it was an oversite that I've survived this long, like I was meant to pass on but accidentally made it through. I'm not thinking of killing myself at all, but I'm thinking of just leaving once I've done all I can for Odo. I'm thinking of just heading to the middle of nowhere and getting a labor job where I can just be forgotten and live out the rest of my days quietly. It's such a wierd feeling, I'm not sad I'm actually fairly positive, I just feel hollow, like I had some sort of destiny but I missed it. Maybe it was Lyndsey, I saw my life so clearly with her, now I honestly can't see beyond my next project or job, I'm basically living day-to-day. Mom's back and she has said she wants to look after the family, so really I've done all I can they don't need me anymore.

I don't know maybe I'll feel differently after I'm done with production, but I don't see it happening that way. This isn't a cry for help, I just need to get this off my chest.

I swear I've done this before...

2009-12-06T12:13:04Z

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME (first pet, current car)
Inky Suzuki

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe)
Vanilla Converse

3. YOUR NATIVE AMERICAN NAME (favorite color, favorite animal)
Purple Turtle

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, city where you were born)
Bjorn Auckland

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name)
Sto Ni

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
Black Pepsi (lame)

7. YOUR NASCAR NAME (the first names of your grandfathers)
Ernest Peter

8. YOUR TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME (your 5th grade teacher's name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
Rose Rome

9. YOUR SPY NAME (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Christmas Rose

10. YOUR CARTOON NAME (your favorite fruit, article of clothing you're wearing right now)
Grape Cargopants.

11. YOUR HIPPIE NAME (what you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Rice Oak

...wow, that was lame.

I could do something constructive or I can do this meme...

2009-11-23T11:10:36Z

You know how sometimes people on your friendslist post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when were they working THERE? Since when were they dating HIM/HER? Since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you should already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy the topics below, erase my answers and put yours in their place, and then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration. One-Word-Answers seldom help anyone out. (:

1. FIRST NAME: Nikki, named after Niki Lauda who was a badass F1 driver, it's spelt Nikki because it was mispelled on the birth certificate and my Dad was too much of a dumbass to notice.

2. AGE: 24, starting to feel old, working around people born in 2003 isn't helping.

3. LOCATION: Castle Hill, it's a nice out of the way suburb, people are reasonably nice and they mind their own business. Definitely an upper-middle class suburb, thus making me the scariest person in the area.

4. OCCUPATION: Child Care, I've grown way to comfortable with this job and to be honest I love some of these kids. Often makes me wonder if I'm ever getting back into radio.

5. PARTNER: Just me, has been for quite some time, fairly lonely existence but I'm getting use to my hermit lifestyle.

6. KIDS? I love children and would love to one day have a little girl, but considering how question 5 is going I don't see this happening anytime soon.

7. BROTHERS/SISTERS: Two brothers, one sister. Elyse is okay, she definitely doesn't handle pressure well though and she's as stubborn as a mule. Kris is pretty much a lost cause at this point, getting him to leave the house and do shit other then watch Anime is a major problem, considering putting him in therapy. Greg I've gotten pretty close to, like a younger version of me with less confidence and more emo tendencies.

8. PETS: None now, all my pets have gone to the great backyard in the sky. Would like to get a German Shepard at some point.

9. LIST THE 3/5 BIGGEST THINGS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE:

1. Odo: My little inside joke of dressing up like a ninja has turned into a full blown series with a full production team and actors working on it. Takes up a fair amount of my time.

2. Hoshin Jutsu: Part of getting ready for the series was finding a martial art, after some searching around I found Hoshin. It's a street realistic version of ninjitsu and I love it, if I could just leave my job and do it full time I would. Problem is that there is only two instructors in all of Australia, one of them being my sensei and he's recently fallen sick, possibly terminally. So, this great martial art may be lost in this part of the world.

3. Looking after my family: Outside of Odo, I've pretty much had to give up on my own dreams and goals because my Mom basically went nuts and moved to the States to marry some guy she barely knows. Most of my money goes into supporting the family and my free time is spent keeping everyone happy and together. I'll keep doing it till I have nothing left to give, but to be honest I really wish she would come back and take her children back so I can have my own life.

10. PARENTS: My Dad and Mom recently divorced, within a matter of months they both found new partners and seem to be happy. I don't know how I feel about that, I want them to be happy but, well this is gonna sound corny but it's really shaken my belief in love. After everything I've been through and everything I've seen I'm starting to doubt it actually exists.

Meme O'Clock...

2009-11-15T09:22:36Z

Anyone who looks at this entry has to post this meme and their current wallpaper on their LiveJournal.
-Explain in five sentences why you're using that wallpaper!
-Don't change your wallpaper before doing this! The point is to see what you had on!

1. It's a dragon.
2. It's a half-demon/half-dragon.
3. It's on fire.
4. I like World of Warcraft.
5. The logo isn't distracting.

Your mission should you choose to accept it...

2009-10-12T23:43:14Z

Can I write a solid LJ-post in under 6 minutes, before my time at this internet kiosk (I hate the word Kiosk) runs out;

* Melbourne so far, has been boring, not mind numbingly dull, but pretty snoozy.
* Spent the weekend with my Sensei/Fight Choreographer, dude is a totally hippy, I mean solar powered batteries, hippy markets, hand made clothes, all organic food. Was fucking weird, first thing I did when I got back to the city was buy a hamburger. Murder is tasty.
* iPhone doesn't seem to like Melbourne, reception keeps dropping in and out. Can't say that I blame it.
* I know I've only been here a couple of days, but come on Melbourne people at least say Hello, drop me a line.
* Need to find a laundromat here, and buy a laundry bag. Tis slightly harder then I thought it would be.
* Any suggestions for things to do, all I've got so far is visiting the QV Market and a concert on Thursday, otherwise I'm shit out of things to do.
* Had to skip out on meeting up with Natalie of Community Channel fame because I'm here in Melbourne, she's offered to meet up over Tea (who-the-fuck meets up over Tea?) I'll take her up on it and bring up the cameo in the Ninja series.

Make up your mind...

2009-10-07T14:12:03Z

* I got a weird headache that seems to come and go as it pleases, I'll be carrying something then all of a sudden "HA-HA FUCK YOU IN THE HEAD", then as I put down whatever I'm carrying "Nah, I was just fucking with ya Bro, go back to what you were doing" and then nothing for like 15 minutes. I grew up with migraines so to be honest headaches don't do shit to me, but holy fuck make up your mind headache!
* Going to Melbourne this Friday, little bit worried because I've only organised the first 3 and last 3 days of my trip, in between I'm doing nothing, so I gotta ask what the fuck is the point?
* I should be packing but my head has decided to hurt again. Thanks for that brain.
* Got an iPhone, other then the tiny battery I'm actually enjoying it.

Salted Pork...

2009-09-28T11:08:16Z

My Ninja and I

* Had our first successful Ninja production meeting, got alot done and organised alot of jobs. "Big ups" to Dave for coming and offering to help despite living in another state, much love my brother.
* Also cast about half of the people we need (maybe more I need to count), going to ask Natalie of Community Channel fame if she would be interested in a cameo.
* Episode 3 of the Ninja script is pretty much done, onto 4.
* Sort of weird working on the series now, I remember when Odo was the Surprise Sex Ninja and use to hump celebrities (like John Rhys Davies) for the lulz, now I have multiple people dedicating time and money to getting the series off the ground.
* Gotta start training more, during the meeting I realized how many fight scenes I have in full ninja gear, passing out in the middle of the fights may put a cramp in production.

In other news

* Heading off to Melbourne from the 9th - 20th of October, hit me up if you want to hang out and chillz...ohhh yeah.
* Been teaching my old lady boss how to use a computer, I'm not paid enough for this shit.
* Speaking of work, I may or may not have a job when I get back, I shall cross that bridge when I come to it.
* Got my 500th song on my iTunes, it was a Beatles song, I think that makes up for some of the previous 499 songs.
* I've given in and I'm on the waiting list for an iPhone, been almost 3 weeks though, which I'm not impressed by.
* Haven't been playing much WoW but I've achieved a fair bit, which is surprising. Violet Proto Drake for the win.
* Been playing Champions Online, it's no WoW but it's a good time killer. Which could be an issue with the above-mentioned training schedule.

Lacrox: Internet famous...

2009-09-05T11:43:44Z

* I should update more often, because then I wouldn't have to do such long ass posts.
* Ninja series is moving along at a steady pace, I want to do some touch-ups on script 3 and we're waiting on script 4 to be written, but casting is coming up which should be interesting.
* Spent Thursday shooting a short film with Natalie from Community Channel. One of my friends subscribes to her Twitter channel and told she needed cast/crew for a film she was working on. I figure I get a cool story and possible promotion for the Ninja series down the track, she gets free labor, win/win. I don't know if it's going online as it's a uni project so I'll find out when we get together for the "thank you" dinner she is planning.
* We actually got some new students at the dojo, yay.
* I started playing Warcraft again, boo.
* And the big news, Mom is apparently getting married (this is the 2nd time this was meant to happen). I'm not sure how I feel, I mean good for her, but this new guy is douche from what I can tell and I'm normally pretty good at sussing people out, plus she is dumping her children on me (obviously they are my family too, but I would really like to just live on my own and worry about my own stuff for just a little while). Ahh well, this is my path and I must walk it.

I saw an alien wearing a bra...

2009-08-16T12:00:31Z

Go see District 9, it is made of win. GI Joe is fun as long as you turn off your brain, though if you're only seeing one movie, see District 9. I'll post more when I have less blood and more sleep.

Blood and a Meme...

2009-08-12T09:32:15Z

I really need to give some blood, soon, I'm falling asleep everywhere. Anyway, meme because nothing very interesting is happening right now;

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. This is harder than you think.

Pick Your Artist: Jonathan Coulton

Are you male or female: Rock and Roll Boy

Describe yourself: Big Dick Farts a Polka

How do you feel about yourself: Mr. Fancy Pants

Describe where you currently live: Over There

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Space Doggity

Your favorite form of transportation: Drive

Your best friend is: Todd the T1000

Your favorite color is: Famous Blue Raincoat

What's the weather like: Blue Sunny Day

Favorite time of day: Till the Money Comes

If your life was a tv show, what would it be called: I Crush Everything

What is life to you: So Far So Good

What is the best advice you have to give: Dance, Soterios Johnson, Dance

If you could change your name, what would it be: Chiron Beta Prime

Your favorite food is: Furry Old Lobster

Thought for the Day: See You All in Hell

How I would like to die: The Big Boom

My soul's present condition: I Feel Fantastic

The faults I can bear: Resolutions

The faults I can't bear: Make You Cry

My motto: The Future Soon

Ignorance is Bliss...

2009-07-29T17:48:00Z

I don't know why, but for the last week or so I've been feeling very calm, centered and happy. This is clearly the work of drugs of some sort. It just feels strange, I'm so use to being angry and sullen. Even when I'm having a bad time or getting upset with someone it only lasts a few minutes and then I'm okay again. This is sort of freaking me out.

"Don't turn out the lights boss"...

2009-07-23T04:29:58Z

* Well I kept my job, apparently I'm high enough up in the food chain that I've got a little bit of clout with the company, plus without overinflating my ego I can charm anyone given a long enough time line. My sister however appears to have lost her job...on her birthday. Ohh today is going to be fun.
* I had a dream where Michael Clark Duncan (the guy from the Green Mile) had trouble following the plot of a Transformers play (yes a play, how you make a play about Transformers, I don't know). Then he went outside and almost got into the fight with a Transformers merchandise vendor because he was trying to rip him off. Now, before all you Freud-wannabes jump on me and say Mr Duncan is a stand-in for me, I was in the dream as well, I was like a really minor background character in the play and I couldn't find a shirt that I wanted to wear. So, yeah, I got no idea what any of that means.
* I've officially clocked over 24 hours on this costume and more money then I want to say, but I have to do it, destiny is calling me.
* Yes, I'm listening to Miley Cyrus, proceed with your scorn.

"Maria, my mighty heart is breaking, I'll be in the Humvee"

2009-07-21T14:05:03Z

* My job could be in trouble once again, they are doing restructuring at the company and have called us all in for a staff meeting (which they almost never do). My sources tell me that some corporate American asshole has come in and said that they should move all the long term staff to different centers to help liven us up. I won't bog this post down with all the problems with that idea, but if it goes ahead I'll most likely move to another job (if I can). Mainly because any other center means commuting will take twice as long and I'll lose any bonus time I already have being the 1IC/2IC, also because I've gotten really attached to some of the kids at my center and the job just isn't worth it without them. I find out tomorrow.
* I converted to Buddhism on Sunday. Don't worry, I won't be converting anyone, wearing robes, selling all my possessions or learning Kung-fu (though that is an idea). I've been researching Buddhism for a while now and to be honest I was already following most of the truths and paths, the only thing I've had to change is not killing cockroaches when I see them (even I really, really want to).
* I've now sprayed paint sealant in my eyes, I both hate and love this costume.
* Odo is starting to get some steam behind it, I should probably start doing something. EDIT: We now have a Co-Producer, whatever the hell that means, Yay!
* I may or may not get to play a hero, who is not a ninja, in an upcoming short-film. It's about time.
* I really want to watch the Rocketeer for some reason.

A penny for your throughts...

2009-07-15T18:25:59Z

* I'm considering doing some sort of film course (probably through TAFE), it wouldn't be to get a job or anything it would just be so I could do more to help the ninja series and because I think it would be fun. Any suggestions/ideas?
* I'm also considering buying a webcam and doing some sort of Videoblogging, not to become famous or get lots of views or anything, just for the hell of it really. I'd probably do it as Odo and just blog about my/his day.
* Burned the fuck out of my fingers putting my costume together for the previously mentioned costume party. Speaking of the costume do I go "full blown/unable to move/but awesome looking" or "looks vaguely good/but not fantastic/but you'll be able to sit down".
* Fuck I love Transformers, I've actually bought a handful of them. Probably the most I've spent on toys in years. I don't know why I'm suddenly into it again, it's not the movie either as I didn't like the movie that much and I think the figures (for the most part) are ugly.
* Been watching alot of CommunityChannel on Youtube, seriously fuck you guys, I'm hooked on this shit now.

I'll have a large chai latte...

2009-07-12T06:33:17Z

* Went to one of the most boring parties I've been to in years. I was just sitting there twiddling my thumbs when I began thinking back to how boring all the parties I've been to in the last year have been (there have been a couple of fun ones). In the last year I've stopped drinking alcohol. So, now I'm wondering if most of my enjoyment at parties was based on my consumption of alcohol. Also I miss booze.
* Speaking of parties, I've been invited to one that involves costumes and I'm not going as a ninja...zomg. I've also been invited to another one for a girl I haven't spoken to in a year, that turned me down, where I'll get to hang with a bunch of people I don't know, in a club where I can't drink...fun.
* I'm finding myself very mellow lately; I'm drinking tea, exercising, not eating red meat, training in a martial art, not fighting, not drinking and doing breathing exercises. Me from a year ago would call me a pussy.
* A friend of mine is marrying a guy that cheated on her twice...I'm officially back in the dating scene, because that shit is retarded.
* Transformers 2 was meh, I still love Transformers as a franchise but dear god that movie was long and had a lot of pointless shit in it. Michael Bay seriously needs to just cut the humans out of the next movie, you would lose an hour and a half of useless scenes. Well except Megan Foxx she can stay.

Ninja S.O.S.

2009-07-06T09:17:36Z

As you may have read on Screams' journal, we had the first Ninja production meeting. Nobody came apart from Craig, Sylph (our fight choreographer) and me, but still first production meet, huzzah. I'm taking it better then Craig, mainly because without other people Craig is stuck doing all the work and he's got enough shit to deal with outside of the series.

Speaking of the series, I don't know much about film work. I've been in a couple of shorts and the Polcheck series, but short of standing in front of the camera and occasionally holding a light I honestly don't know much about what's going on. I do know we're at an important point right now, if we don't get help from people we're not getting this off the ground. We've pretty much got the got the scripts done, once that's complete though well that's almost all we can do without help.

I personally just want to tell this story, I love Odo, he's my favourite character and I would love more people to see who he is. I can't do this on my own though, I need guys like Craig and Sylph, they have done this before, they know what to do, but I need other people. I'm not asking for donations (though that would be nice), what I need is peoples time and their experience. All I can offer you is that at the end of all of this, if we do well, you'll have helped me achieve a dream.

What's the matter McFly, you chicken?...

2009-07-03T20:29:50Z

Well I went for a long ride today, as opposed to my normal up the road and back again I've been doing. I gotta be honest, I was crapping my pants for like 60% of the ride. I don't know whether it's a lack of practice or I'm just not cut out for riding anymore. I stalled it 3 times, almost dropped it once and I mounted at least 2 dividers (which is one of the worst things you can do on a bike). I'm thinking I should put the bike into storage and go for a car, learn how to handle the road properly first. When I first got on the bike ohh so many years ago I was a fucking moron, I'd pull in front of people, I'd speed, I'd ride up the middle of the lanes, I'd overtake for no real reason, I'd drag people at the lights. As stupid as I was back then I wasn't afraid, now I'm wiser and alot more of a chicken.

Sorry if this is a bit disjointed, it's 6:30am, I'm freezing and the adrenaline is pumping.

Yawn...

2009-06-30T12:34:15Z

I'll try and keep this in chronological order,

* After much fucking around, the RTA finally gave me my license.
* Went to Supanova, was very meh about the whole thing, nothing I wanted to buy or do. I didn't have much time to work on Odo's costume so it was really simple and dull. Was fun meeting up with my peeps though, I gotta do that more often.
* Not drinking alcohol sucks balls.
* I went out and got my bike, I tooled around with it for about a day, setting things up, attaching plates and gear. Then proceded to drop it on the 5km mark (a drop for those not in the know is basically when the bike just falls over because you're not going fast enough, it's nowhere near as serious as a crash, it's more embarrassing then anything). Cracked the fairings (fancy plastic on the front), so I'm moderately pissed, I'll keep riding and try to learn from it.
* Feeling really down, don't know why, dropping the bike isn't that big a deal, I wasn't hurt or anything, just feeling bummed out for some reason. Now that I think about it I'm gonna blame Franky, no more D&M talks.
* Surprised that anyone still uses LJ, I'll continue to though. Facebook and Twitter aren't exactly the best journals ever.

Seriously, a plastic screen stopped me from killing a person today...

2009-06-22T01:32:08Z

This is a direct continuation of my previous post; it's been almost a month since the RTA fucked me over, but I'm reasonable, rather then getting a cheap gun and murdering everyone in there and doing the test and printing my own license, I went through all the hassle of applying for a passport. For those that haven't done it, this involves trips to the doctor, photo places, filling in multiple fucking forms and around about $400 because I need it done in a hurry. As I said before almost a month has passed, I happily take my shiney new passport from the courier and head into the RTA. I stand in line for half an hour and get to the counter only to be told that my proof of address isn't valid either.

I then reached through the small gap inbetween the plastic security screen and crushed the womans' windpipe, a large man tried to stop me so I broke his nose and then hammer punched him in the same spot sending shards of bone into his eyes...

Then I woke up from the beautiful daydream, because the stupidity of not recognizing a letter from the Office of Fair Trading (a department of the same Government that runs the RTA) witnessed by multiple real estate agents, that clearly states that I'm paying rent on a property that I'm living in...well it was too much for my mind to handle. The counter bitch kept talking I just packed up my stuff and left.

Well fuck...

2009-06-01T04:22:26Z

I'm so use to things sucking balls that I'm not even shocked by this shit anymore; first I passed my motorcycle tests and requested additional training before I went in to get the license, did that got through and got my green piece of paper saying I passed. Went into the RTA today to do my computer knowledge test, after doing that I'm licensed, nope, not happening. My proof of age card is no longer valid, apparently they switched to new proof of age cards a year ago and didn't tell anyone, which is odd because it's the same ID I used to get into the training course and no-one batted an eyelid. Because I'm a New Zealand citizen/Australia resident my birth certificate doesn't work either I need a new passport from New Zealand for some god awful reason, this is going to take longer then my green slip of paper lasts (3 months unless I get it fast tracked which will cost $800), if I don't get it sorted in 3 months I need to re-do the training which in turn puts me on a 3-4 month waiting list.

And it turns out with hemochromatosis, I can't drink alcohol anymore.

Nervous Nelly...

2009-05-18T13:27:54Z

Re-learning has been interesting, I admit I freaked out a bit when I got on the bike. After an hour or so I calmed down. I'm good on straights, corners are okay not great, gear changes need a ton of work though. I'm sort of worried the next 3.5 hours aren't going to make me road ready. I'll look into doing some more courses if I pass. Main problem is I'm having trouble relaxing and I keep thinking about hitting things, both are no-no's while you're riding. Just gotta relax.

Gotta say learning ninjitsu and re-learning to ride a motorbike at the same time is just stupid, old dog and new tricks as they say. Wish me luck.

Ain't she purty...

2009-05-17T06:26:31Z

Aiming for Thursday/Late Friday.

Betrayal...

2009-05-13T23:40:00Z

Things were going too well; I had a job I'm comfortable with, within a couple of weeks transport will be sorted for the first time in years, the ninja series is finally standing on it's feet and I'm training to become a ninja. Shit don't go well for me, it never has, this was just some way to lift me up before I get dropped on the pavement again. First my Mom has decided to marry her boyfriend, good for her, she's decided to move to America and leave her handicapped son here for me to look after, wait what? Don't get me wrong I love my Brother, but I'm no way in any position to care for another person, I work just enough to get myself by how am I meant to carry him as well? But fine I can deal with it when I get to it.

Then my crazy old lady boss stabbed me in the back. I bend over backwards for this senile bitch, I cover up her horrible behavior toward the children, I make excuses for her, at one point we were giving her lifts to her house and back. I find out today that she has reported me to the office for some violation of the rules and has requested I get moved to another center. If I get moved I'm going to lose my hours and the job will become pointless and we're in the middle of recession who the fuck is going to hire me for anything? I can't even think of what I did wrong, I'm out of uniform occasionally but thats not grounds for moving someone, I'm great with the kids, I clean the room as best I can and I run my ass off for the old bat.

Fucking bitch, I'm going to destroy her, I'm going to end her career and send her bankrupt. I'm going to make sure her deadbeat sons are out on the street with her so she realizes what a failure she is. You don't fuck with me, not anymore I'm Doctor Doom motherfucker.

It's Alive, It's Alive...

2009-05-10T13:35:33Z

* And I'm back, losing the net wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, mainly just missed having e-mail.
* Ohh shit, my Sensei, my Sensei' Sensei and my fight choreographer all in one video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_zixOpo-Go I start training this Thursday. I'm sure he was lying about the invisibility, I bet I learn that in like the second lesson.
* I'll post something more substantial later, sleep now.

Dear John...

2009-04-30T12:24:22Z

Well so begins the final stages of the move, I write this to say goodbye to you internet. I do not know when I shall return, it may be a day, it may be a month, but know this; you have served me well over these past several years. Sure, we had our run-ins with viruses and goatse, but they only made us stronger. I swear to you internet, I will return one day.

Yours Faithfully,
Nikki Stoupe.